Let me get this instantly: You went out with this dude for six months and in no way ordered a pizza together? Wow. That needs to be some form of a document, especially if you have been eating cheeseburgers, barbeque, and enchiladas, which can be plenty of gateway ingredients for pizza. Really, in vascular health phrases, consuming a pizza is like injecting your arteries with bacon grease. (Psssst: That’s outstanding unhealthy.) If you’re going to threaten a large coronary heart assault – or even worse, a stroke – you would possibly as properly swing for the fences. Just load that child up with all styles of processed meats and fatty cheeses and pray that sooner or later, your heart will simply fucking explode and kill you instantly. Ideally, even as you’re beneath, they affect some heavy narcotics because a coronary heart explosion needs to be excruciatingly painful for at least a few warm seconds. Besides, the Almighty respects a ludicrously ambitious prayer – or at the least appreciates a good giggle.
WWhy smash a huge ol’ meaty, cheesy, greasy gastronomical loss of life trap with something healthy like a pineapple? That does not make any damn experience. You think Jesus is up there checking pizza elements and wondering, “Oh, wait, he turned into seeking to consume at least a little bit healthy. Look! He introduced pineapplPineapplewe have only to provide him a mini-stroke!” To which I am pretty certain God could reply, “PineapplPineapplehandiest created that fruit so sexual deviants could have a decent, safe phrase!” Jesus might respond, “Then why did you make them so delicious?!?!?”
I don’t have enough column area to dive into an entire theological exploration/qualitative evaluation of pineapples and pizza. Suffice it to mention that pizza is normally scrumptious enough that hundreds of thousands of Americans pick it to kill themselves by consuming it slowly. Pineapples are each funky and delicious and, in keeping with the Almighty, I believe, a great secure phrase. However, the twain ought to in no way meet the isle of Hawaii out of doors, wherein demise is usually coming near, and they may be as much as their asses in pineapples.
Here at the mainland, that dog might not hunt. If I were you, I would keep introducing this dude to your dad and mom until you understand he does not have other sick perversions he’s hiding – like setting anchovies in his piña colada. Better secure than sorry.
Using your fingers or the rolling pin, roll out flat.
Top your pizza along with your favorite pizza toppings. Use clean components. Fresh vegetables are pleasant. Place some beaten stewed tomatoes or sauce on the dough. Use your preferred cheese, vegetables, and meats. Use your imagination.
After you’ve made pizza in a few instances, do not be afraid to experiment.
When making pizza, much less is greater. Do now not overcrowd your pizza. Allow the flavor of the dough to shine via. Usstraint while topping your pizza. Less is greater!
Cook pizza in a 500+ F degree oven for 8-10 minutes until the backside has browned. For cooking pizza, the hotter, the better. Remember to pre-heat your oven for at least 1 hour.
Making your pizza will alternate your existence. Your friends will praise you. Your kids will love you. And in case you are single, it will improve your love lifestyle! Pizza on Earth, Good Will to All!
